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Ever wonder if your doing the right things? Going down the right path? I do. All the time. It's like this. If things are going smoothly, I think to myself, "okay, so far so good, I guess I'm doing the right thing", then when things go bad, I think to myself, "damn! why is it so hard? maybe I took the wrong turn at the fork in the road." To me, life will always be a criss cross of paths. Every so often, you run into an intersection, one of those complicated ones where you have so many paths to choose from. Obviously, the paths aren't clear cut, but in my imagination, life feels like that. Roads you choose to take, decisions you make that allow you to end up where you are. Do you know how you know if you've gone down the "right" path? It's when you have deja vu's. Yup. It's that feeling of familiarity that tells you that you were supposed to go down this path. I know I've told some of you guys this, but not all of you guys, that I sort of believe in that fate/destiny stuff. I mean, not that we don't get to choose the way we want to live our lives, but that you end up choosing the roads you were meant to choose. Hence, we have dejavu's. They are sort of reassurances, that you were supposed to take that path. Sort of a pat on the back to say, you're going the right way, keep moving.
I really don't know the point of my blog today. Maybe becuase I had a deja vu today at work that reminded me of my really deja vu's in Oxford a few years ago. They were so strong that everytime these things happen, I always sort of smile to myself and think, "so, I guess I was supposed to end up here all along...hmm...interesting." Maybe that is one of the reasons why I want to go back to England so badly. It was the feeling I had there.
Anyway, although I'm not very pleased with how I'm going about life at the moment, I hope that whatever paths I choose to take will lead me to a place that I want to be. I hope those deja vu's come up at good times of my life, just so I get that reassurance that I'm heading in the direction of something good.
Okay, if my blog doesn't make sense, e-mail me for clarification. I think I'm pretty bad at getting my viewpoints across. Anyway, time for me to sleep. Man, I just get so tired here.