alone...

I've decided not to go to the halloween party tonite. I think I've had enough of hanging out at bars and clubs. Don't these ppl have anythign better to do than drink themselves silly? I hate just sitting there with my lime soda and nothing better to chat about. You meet all these ppl that you don't talk to after the evening is over. What gives. It's stupid.
I slept in today and decided to go out myself in the afternoon. As I was walking around, I felt so alone. If I wanted to call someone out for lunch or afternoon tea or whatever, I couldn't. Who the hell would I call? Lemme tell you, the ppl on my cell phone that I receive calls from and whom I call are my sis, my mum, my aunt. As exciting as a day out browsing around is supposed to be, I felt like crap. I have no friends to hang with, everytime I go out, I need money or else you can't get anywhere. IT SUCKS. If I had a paying job, atleast I could spend a little money,with no money I'm just tied down and have to stick with my mum. I feel so damn trapped!
Okay okay, I know many of you guys keep telling me to go join stuff and what not, it's not like I haven't tried. Ppl here just seem to like the bar scene a lot. Besides going to bars, they have hectic work lifestyles. I guess a part of me doesnt' mind not making friends here becuase I feel that I won't be here long anyways. Maybe if I dont make friends it'll make my staying here feel even shorter (or that I'm not stranded here). I duno. I have friends in class and we go eat lunch together on the weekdays, but I'm still not as close to just call them up and hang out. Bah!
I feel so trapped. I need my freedom to roam around. At least in Toronto, I can go out without spending money. Just hanging with friends don't cost you any money and it's so damn phun! Bah! I still hate HK.
I've come to realize that my relationship with my mum is just is. It's not fixable. As screwed up as it maybe most of the time, it's the only way it works. So I just gotta suck it up.