my thoughts…

so here I am typing my blog for at 3 in the morning. My week ended with a horrible midterm that I know I could have done well on. I’m really peeved cuz I couldn’t focus when I was cramming. Okay, so the material wasn’t the best read in the world, but I was daydreaming way too much. And the result? My not being able to answer questions on the midterm. Grrr.
So what was I daydreaming about that was so important? Nothing really. It was a mixture of past memories and imaginations of the future. Good memories followed by bad memories made me lose focus on what I was studying. It’s weird in that I have never been so unfocused on cramming in my entire university career. Cramming means you don’t have enough time to study already, so why was I so easily distracted with other thoughts in my head? I duno, my daydreaming caused me to have emotional ups and downs coupled with stress. Bad combination. After awhile I got so peeved at myself I ended up yelling at myself out loud “CONCENTRATE VIV!!” which, to be honest, freaked me out a bit. I mean, here I am in my quiet apartment yelling at myself. A bit odd, no?
At least my day ended well with a smile from a cute car wash guy and an evening out with my girlfriends. So tonite, we had wanted to go try something new out. Considering we live in Toronto, there are a million dessert places we could go. We had at first decided to go to marche since we couldn’t come up with a good place, a friend suggested Hollywood Gelato, but I called them up and they closed at 10.30. so we decided to go there next time. We ended up back at marche. Dessert quality is decreasing there, but I had a good chocolate cheesecake.
The best part of the evening was sitting down and chatting at someone’s house after dessert. I was able to let out some of my frustration. Evenings like these reminds me why friendships are so important. I duno what I would do without them. They are my support, my backbone in this life of obstacles. I think I’ve resolved some issues on my mind and have a better idea of what I should do. What will I do without them after September?
Athough I’ve gotten some stuff off my chest, I’m still determined to accomplish what I want to do this weekend. Have a good drink. I think my previous experience of getting ‘wing wing day’ has given me a taste of what alcohol can help you do. I just need one evening of good drinks and sleep it off. That’s all I need. And no, I’m not becoming an alcoholic. I’m just frustrated.