exhausted...

it's tuesday and i just got back to loo. the past couple days spent in toronto were sort of a blurr to me. it was full of activities with my family. i have to say i miss going home to a house full of ppl. i luv big families. i just luv having a house full of ppl. it's got such a nice warm feeling to it. it sort of sux to go home when everyone is back in hk. i mean, u step in the door hoping to see smiling faces and have chats with ur family while they fuss over u with yummie steaming bowls of food, but usually it's not like that. so yes, i'm sort of sad that they are all going back. it's not fair! they get to go back to warm weather while the temperatures keep going down here! i really hope warm weather comes back soon.
anyways, back to family. so i was so exhausted this past weekend, i almost forgot how many things there are to do when ur household expands from a mere 4 ppl to 9 ppl. and i also forgot how crazy my family gets at costco. we spent $1200 on one shopping spree. okay, so they the full $1200 wasn't just on junk food, they bought a new tv for my gran, but still, it scares me how they can spend that in less than 2 hours. atleast half the stuff bought is heading back to hk and not staying here in toronto for phili to munch on.
i realized this time they came back how much of an affect moving around has on little kids. i look at tiffany and keanu and think 2 things. one is that these kids are smart, they speak, read and write fluent english, cantonese and mandarin, they kno how to play the piano and violin and the list goes on. the second things that came across my mind was they were kids with horrible manners. well, i guess not horrible but still it could be worked on. tiff seems like ur avg kid. but keanu, i seriously think he may be a hyperactive child. my dad agrees, but we're hoping he grows out of it. anyways, so i was saying how moving around affects kids, i mean that by how tiff and keanu don't take phili seriously as their older brother. and phil, well, i think he feels that his parents are being fair to him becuase he hardly gets to see them while his 2 younger siblings are always with them. i just hope they all grow up to luv each other and be good kids. i hope this moving around of parents don't affect them a lot in the future. it's really hard to explain to a 12 year old that his parents need to work in hk and he's here for a good education when they come to u teary eyed saying "all i want is my dad to spend time with me." how do u explain to them that it's not cuz he doesn't love u? i guess since phili has been babied by me, he hasn't had the chance to think much himself. he's still a little kid. i think by the time i was 10, i had an inkling about how it was going to be and that i'd had to do my best and live with the situation. i guess he's in a slightly different position than i am. but i believe he'll pull through.
all this reminds me that in the future, i will always be with my children. although there is no picture perfect family, i will try to have my own version of a perfect family. my kids will come home to a warm, luving family with hopefully nothing too out of the ordinary.
anyways, i am too exhausted from activities and my trouble sleeping so i have to go to bed. i think i really got to figure out all my issues and stop stressing, i'm really not getting the sleep i need. if u see me on the street, please don't comment on how much i'm starting to look like a panda. :OP